12 years, present

12. It feels epic. I woke excited. Went downstairs and got the breakfast table ready with a couple of small gifts and some birthday touches.

My eldest turned twelve today.

It feels monumental. Parenting for 12 years.

Speaking with a neighbor this morning she commented ‘Some years are more impactful that others.’ This moment feels pivotal, maybe for my daughter, definitely for me.

My parenting is ever evolving. I chuck myself in, do what I can, listen learn, fall down and start again. I work on areas of growth, knock away at them, mess up, repair, restore, repeat.


I’ve grown. I’m different. I lean into hard conversations and uncomfortable moments. I take accountability for my mistakes and been more open to listen to others rather than barrel forward. Moments of progress like this are worth noticing, and taking stock, perhaps more than you think. When I notice the triggers I’ve dismantled, the pre-sets within me I have changed I’m proud of the progress. It didn’t seem possible. Look how far I’ve come.

I think striving for more requires us to reflect inside the process.

Because, as we know, the process never ends.

My presence inside my life has brightened. The light bulb is glowing now. I’m not on the outside looking in, sacrificing my time and identity for others. I’m much more often within the moments my family offers. It’s hard work, it’s hard, and it’s worth it.

This has happened through applying my coaching skills, being coached, using my curiosity, my habits, my willingness to learn, be wrong, to listen, to try new things and to be consistent with others.


I gain peace through meditation, walking, people, silence. I have made room for me.

I’m not done. I’ll never be. Being within it right now is worth it. I’ll take this moment, exactly how it is: small, quiet, exciting, nerve wracking, full and flowing.

Kathy Murphy is a Life Coach, founder of Connected Coaching. Two years ago I wrote Ten years a Mom You can find that post here.

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