12. It feels epic. I woke excited. Went downstairs and got the breakfast table ready with a couple of small gifts and some birthday touches. My eldest turned twelve today. It feels monumental. Parenting for 12 years. Speaking with a neighbor this morning she commented ‘Some years are more impactful that others.’ This moment feels
-> Continue reading 12 years, present
Recently I did an InstaLive with a fellow coach. I was highlighting how helpful it can be for parents to take a moment before the holidays and choose what habits they want to keep going. ‘Thank you, a planner as always, Kathy.’ Suzanne said lightheartedly as we wrapped up. (Link to full conversation on the
-> Continue reading How do you activate into action?
‘What do you want?’ I asked my parent friend. Her answer is about children, elderly parents, schedule, tasks, budget and future goals for others. Tuned to the needs of others, the YOU in the question gets lost. She’s the primary parent. Primary parents (in my experience) are much more likely to be mothers. They carry
-> Continue reading What do you want?
Where do you look for joy? Sometimes it can be in the simplest of places. Last week I was demented with rest and happy to have the energy to be outside. We have all been sick. We got covid like a relay team: first one, then a week later another, then later again the last
-> Continue reading A very quick guide to amplify joy
It takes a village to raise a child… right? With a pandemic that is still going on our village has been curtailed (if it was even there to begin with). Add in non-stop changes to consider; mix in a little isolation, a pinch of decision fatigue and you have a small sense of where parents
-> Continue reading A How To Guide to building your village in a global pandemic.
What if we made January about acknowledging the invisible work that’s done every day? The work that gets noticed when it hasn’t happened but is rarely acknowledged when it is happening. Below is a fraction of the things I could think of that are a part of my parenting and household management. My list is
-> Continue reading January – The Invisible Work Month
Really noticing how we are good a something acknowledges strengths and increases the confidence we naturally have in ourselves. When we feel more confident it translates into how we are around our loved ones. Highlighting strengths shows your children how to find and acknowledge their excellence too. We want our children to find what they
-> Continue reading How will increasing my confidence help me be a better parent?
Laryngitis and the vomiting bug for me. Add in a splash of croup and another bug for my six year old and you get the idea of the last eight days.
I told my doctor, a man who is generally upbeat. He paused and just said ‘Fuck’.
Brilliant.
UPDATE ON: Goal setting for six year olds or Gold Trophies and Carol Vorderman. It happened on Friday. He made it. My son’s anticipation was so great he wanted a countdown for when he pushed enter on the final question. Treats were prepared (a very specific Chocolate Rice Krispie loaf cake), songs were played and
-> Continue reading The Final Result
It’s finally June. The sun is peeking out and we can see the end of the school year. Correction, the homeschool year. Last September we chose to take the leap and jumped into homeschooling our children. In total honesty we had no teaching plan at the beginning, a lot of trepidation (make that fear) and
-> Continue reading Why endings matter.
I’m in the kitchen. I’ve just made a fresh cup of coffee. The kids are in the front room about to do three GoNoodle Just Dance videos to wake up their bodies and get them moving. They do this every morning before we start homeschooling. It wakes up their bodies to wake up their minds.
-> Continue reading What does change look like? or putting my oar in
Begin with the end in mind Ahh Carol. Like many parents this past twelve months I have relied on the fabulous Carol Vorderman and Maths Factor to help bridge the gap of learning between my children and Maths. Given free during the first lockdown, we used it to make maths fun and truthfully to get
-> Continue reading Goal Setting for six year olds or Gold Trophies and Carol Vorderman
How to begin? I’m a home baker and I love to make cookies. They’re really easy for me because I’ve been baking cookies since I was 8 years old. I realised a few years ago that I hadn’t bothered stretching myself and trying new ones. Just the same old ones. People loved them, I could
-> Continue reading Looking for confidence? Step into your unique competence.
What happens when we lose the signs that told us we were on the right track? Where can parents find it? Motivation is something we all want more of. It can be a tool that spurs us on to greater heights. It also has the power to completely halt our progress if we look for
-> Continue reading What type of motivation works for you?
Welcome to snowflake hell. It started out well. It started out with a good deal. I LOVE a good deal and thrifting is something I relish. We have an excellent charity shop nearby that gets in a wide array of wonderful items; from clothing with French labels, designer jackets to a stunning book selection. A
-> Continue reading What if the conditions aren’t right, right now?
All or Nothing thinking is when you evaluate your life in extreme terms: It’s either perfect or a disaster. You can only do it one way or not at all. It’s distorted thinking and I’ve been known to practice it. I love how I feel once I begin moving so it’s weird to think I
-> Continue reading All or Nothing Thinking or the ONLY way to walk
My firstborn turned ten yesterday.
It hit with a wave of emotions. A total tidal wave. The words haven’t fully come in yet but here goes. Joy, sadness, disbelief, trepidation, awe, fear, relief, hope, wonder. Feelings that have filled my whole self to the tips of my fingers down to my toes.
I have a decade under my belt as a parent. Five years anchored as a parent at home, primary point person for our children and household.
Ten years and I’m in constant learning mode.
Ten years have shown me where my blind spots are and if I’m willing to shine a light on them.
Ten years of giving it my best shot, screwing up, looking for the lesson, creating room to change.
Then beginning again. And again. And AGAIN.
[…]
I learned to practice on myself something I already knew.
Tuning in.
As a Mom I’m trained in tuning in to the needs of my family. From knowing what foods they’re eating or not eating to noticing and looking for the signs when they need a hug, a place to run or time with friends.
I have an acute tuning system into understanding when they’re hungry after the intense training of having a newborn (twice) who needed to eat every two hours, and then, once in a while on no apparent schedule, they’d cluster feed for forever. My tuning adapts and changes as they change. I expect it now. Currently, with a nine and a five year old I’ve begun to look forward to what might happen next. How are they going to show up today?
[…]
There’s never enough time that’s what it feels like.
For me there’s doing things for the kids, setting up a new business, learning marketing, the constant day-to-day of being in the house, cleaning (uggghhkk!) homeschooling or connecting in and supporting extended family and friends. Not to mention time with my partner. My time can get sucked away easily.
So how is it possible to get more time?
I think the true question is how do we choose to give the time we have each day to ourselves, everyday.
I wanted to meditate.
Maybe it could bring me peace, change my thinking, make me better?
Problem was, there was never enough time. I had two young kids who weren’t sleepers. It felt like I was clawing back time just to think straight.
I felt like I couldn’t begin, never mind sustain a daily practice.
My mind was often blurry and reactive. I ALSO told myself this story: I have to do it completely right or not at all (a fantastic excuse that I’ve used time and again to stop doing something I want to do)
Nonetheless, I desperately wanted the effects of what meditation might bring. It trains the mind and creates a gap, the gap between reaction and response.
I was becoming an absolutely expert in reacting and I hated it. Response was what I craved.
I’d finally gotten to the point where it was more painful to do nothing than to do something imperfectly.