What if we made January about acknowledging the invisible work that’s done every day? The work that gets noticed when it hasn’t happened but is rarely acknowledged when it is happening. Below is a fraction of the things I could think of that are a part of my parenting and household management. My list is
-> Continue reading January – The Invisible Work Month
What happens when we lose the signs that told us we were on the right track? Where can parents find it? Motivation is something we all want more of. It can be a tool that spurs us on to greater heights. It also has the power to completely halt our progress if we look for
-> Continue reading What type of motivation works for you?
All or Nothing thinking is when you evaluate your life in extreme terms: It’s either perfect or a disaster. You can only do it one way or not at all. It’s distorted thinking and I’ve been known to practice it. I love how I feel once I begin moving so it’s weird to think I
-> Continue reading All or Nothing Thinking or the ONLY way to walk
My firstborn turned ten yesterday.
It hit with a wave of emotions. A total tidal wave. The words haven’t fully come in yet but here goes. Joy, sadness, disbelief, trepidation, awe, fear, relief, hope, wonder. Feelings that have filled my whole self to the tips of my fingers down to my toes.
I have a decade under my belt as a parent. Five years anchored as a parent at home, primary point person for our children and household.
Ten years and I’m in constant learning mode.
Ten years have shown me where my blind spots are and if I’m willing to shine a light on them.
Ten years of giving it my best shot, screwing up, looking for the lesson, creating room to change.
Then beginning again. And again. And AGAIN.
[…]
I learned to practice on myself something I already knew.
Tuning in.
As a Mom I’m trained in tuning in to the needs of my family. From knowing what foods they’re eating or not eating to noticing and looking for the signs when they need a hug, a place to run or time with friends.
I have an acute tuning system into understanding when they’re hungry after the intense training of having a newborn (twice) who needed to eat every two hours, and then, once in a while on no apparent schedule, they’d cluster feed for forever. My tuning adapts and changes as they change. I expect it now. Currently, with a nine and a five year old I’ve begun to look forward to what might happen next. How are they going to show up today?
[…]
I wanted to meditate.
Maybe it could bring me peace, change my thinking, make me better?
Problem was, there was never enough time. I had two young kids who weren’t sleepers. It felt like I was clawing back time just to think straight.
I felt like I couldn’t begin, never mind sustain a daily practice.
My mind was often blurry and reactive. I ALSO told myself this story: I have to do it completely right or not at all (a fantastic excuse that I’ve used time and again to stop doing something I want to do)
Nonetheless, I desperately wanted the effects of what meditation might bring. It trains the mind and creates a gap, the gap between reaction and response.
I was becoming an absolutely expert in reacting and I hated it. Response was what I craved.
I’d finally gotten to the point where it was more painful to do nothing than to do something imperfectly.